Petty Planets homepage mockup with custom SVG logo: navigation, hero, best-selling roast stickers, custom Big Three kit, wallpapers, and email quiz capture.
pettyplanets.shop
New Drop · Zodiac Roast Pack Vol. 1
Your chart
called. It said:
fix it.
Astrology that drags. In full color. Pretty on the outside, called-out on the inside.
Cosmic Background Check ✦ Blocked & Blessed ✦ Don’t text him, check your transits ✦ Archive Energy Only ✦ Emotionally unavailable, spiritually unmatched ✦
Best Sellers
Shop all →♓︎
Cried at a meme. Ghosted someone the same day.
♏︎
You say you’re private, then post cryptic quotes.
♑︎
Booked, busy, emotionally barricaded.
Roast my Big Three
Drop your Sun, Moon, and Rising. We build you a custom set that reads you for filth. Personalized, not generic.
Build my kit · $18☉ SUNLeo · “You peaked in 2016 and you know it.”
☾ MOONPisces · “Your feelings have feelings.”
↑ RISINGCapricorn · “You schedule your spirals.”
Wallpapers
Free with any order →☿
Mercury Retrograde Ruined My Life (Again)
♀
Your Venus sign is why you keep texting your ex.
♄
Blame it on your Saturn return. Everyone else is.
Which Sign Are You?
Take the quiz, get roasted, and be first in line when the physical packs drop.